WE SUFFER WHEN our personalities are in malalignment with the will of God, Whose law is union in love with Himself and all His creatures. Suffering began when God granted man free will, so that man could see himself apart from God as well as one with Him. What we call the Fall was man's descent from idyllic union with God into the world of manifold forms where separation was the order of creation. The more I consider the parable of Adam, Eve, and the serpent, who symbolises the dark subterranean forces of self-assertiveness in the human psyche, the more I realise how necessary the Fall was for man to recognise and realise the divinity that God had implanted in Him. Only if the supreme gift of free will had been withheld would man have stayed immutably fixed to his creator. But the love of God is such that He willed his creatures to become full of their own being, so that they could respond to His love as friends and not as puppets. It is in this context that Jesus' farewell discourses to His disciples have particularly moving poignancy: "You are my friends, if you do what I command you. I call you servants no longer; a servant does not know what his Master is about. I have called you friends, because I have disclosed to you everything that I heard from my Father" (John 15:15). It is hardly too great a simplification to place the whole burden of man's path to abundant life on the development of his will in harmony with the will of God.
The Origin of Suffering
Malalignment is an ever-present reality. We are out of harmony with our fellow men, each seeking his private advantage at the expense of the other. We are all out of harmony with the world we inhabit because man exploits nature instead of cultivating and cherishing it. The world itself is out of harmony with the cosmic flow of life and is subject to many "natural disasters". And yet all creation is striving to know its own identity, to find an eternal meaning that transcends the world of change in which it is incarcerated during the life of the flesh. Suffering is both a manifestation of the alienation of the creature from its creative source, and the way of knowing and attaining its true identity.
It is a measure of God's love to us that He does not interfere directly in our lives and solve our difficulties for us. Instead he treats us with infinite courtesy, strengthening us if we ask, but never invading our private sphere of activity. If He were to behave "supernaturally", as He could do at will, all travail and suffering could be removed from the world, but His creatures would become mere ciphers that obey the voice of their Master automatically, without love or dedication. God wants the heart, which is the point of the body where action is fertilised by compassion and love. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).
Suffering is here to teach us about the heart and how it may be cultivated. Until the heart is awake, there can be no effective prayer life, only a superficial type of intellectual meditation.
The Meaning of Suffering The way of suffering is hard and unremitting. It aims at no less than a complete cleansing of the personality from all the unconscious elements that obscure the uncreated light of the Holy Spirit that radiates from the centre of the soul, which is our own spirit. Every experience in relationships with others is a little suffering. For in exposing ourselves to the scrutiny of the unfeeling glance of another person, we are shriven of some clinging conceit. There is no understanding of love that does not demand prior suffering. We suffer not only because we are out of alignment with the soul within us, but because the world is also out of alignment with "eternal nature," which is the "body" or the "glory" of God, or "the uncreated heaven" - terms that hail from the mystical theology of Jakob Boehme. The very idea of personal salvation is inconceivable in a world that has fallen from the primeval splendour of God - thanks to the selfishness of its creatures (Romans 8:18-25) - into the flux of growth, decay, and death, with the ever-present hope of rebirth of all levels (physical, psychical, and spiritual). We who take the glory of the world - its natural beauty and fecundity - for granted, must also learn to accept its darkness and bestiality, which accrue in no small measure from the unredeemed darkness of the human psyche, just as the pinnacles of art and science which adorn human life derive from the peaks of human creativity.
Until the heart is exposed and cultivated, suffering is barren and meaningless, but once the heart expands and beats in understanding, it suffers to the glory of God in the redemption of the world. By this I mean that suffering accepted passively as a personal misfortune neither enlightens the mind nor ennobles the soul. The person himself is bowed down under its weight, mute and hostile. Eventually he will collapse under the burden and die, if not cursing God as Job's wife advised (2:9), at least with bovine incomprehension. There is no call to sentimentalise suffering or to glorify it for its own sake. On the contrary, it calls for amelioration and relief, so that the sufferer may know that others care about him, and that the world at large sees itself as part of a suffering community.
Suffering that opens the heart of the victim at once frees him from self-pity and isolation into a world of greater understanding where suffering is the shared mark of all servers on the way. As soon as suffering evokes compassion, the victim is no longer alone in his own imagination, but has left his little self behind and is participating in the life of the world. It is the strange nature of man that, in his prosperity and success, he tends to become self-centred and aloof from the feelings of his fellows, but once he has been brought low, he is able to identify himself with them. And in this state of silent identification, God Himself can at last gain entry into what is in reality His own domain, but which He has given unreservedly to self-willed man. Of all the ways of attaining mystical experience, it is the one of identification through suffering that is the most exalted, because it tells of love in a fashion that no other mode of approach to the divine can. It is man's duty and his joy to suffer in the image of Christ until all that is corrupt, astray, and lost can be reclaimed, redeemed, and sanctified.
No one on the path of discipleship can avoid the experience of suffering; anyone who tries to evade it by occult techniques fails to reach the end of his journey. "Any one who does not enter the sheepfold through the gate, but gets in some other way is a thief and a brigand. The one who enters the gate is the shepherd of the flock; the gatekeeper lets him in, the sheep hear his voice...the sheep follow because they know his voice. They never follow a stranger but run away from him; they do not recognise the voice of strangers" (John 10:1-5).
There is no journey to the end that is not also the journey with Everyman. By our stripes he is healed. We suffer that he may know our forgiveness, and we learn about our true identity and its consummation into a full person when we suffer on the way.
Suffering and Identity
I once knew a woman of great innate nobility. Her heart was pure but her personality was awry. Her body was very beautiful, but her intellect was not strong. At times she had glimpses of reality, but all too often her vision was clouded by trivialities - what she should do to assert her station in life, how she should prevent others taking advantage of her, how she should retain a proper image of herself (as much for her own stability as to impress others). If anyone crossed her or she suspected she was being snubbed, there would commence a bitter feud that might last years on end. And it was all so trivial; she had so much that ought to have gratified her. But she did not know herself.
Her bitter tongue ruined many relationships, yet those who had suffered were eventually able to forgive her, divining the nobility and compassion that lay beneath the unstable surface. She clung desperately on to what she loved, but as we all have to learn, there comes a time when we have to relinquish everything, as she found out. The last few years of her life were dark, and eventually she fell victim to an incurable internal disease. At last she began to come to herself. All her friends and relations rallied round her, each visiting her out of love and giving her beautiful presents which she knew intuitively she would never be able to use. Suddenly the realisation struck her; "What a nasty person I have so often been. I wonder why all these people are so good to me." She began to see the reality of her life as something apart from the façade of physical beauty or social eligibility that had so often dominated her thoughts when she was young. At last she understood that she was loved for what she was, and not for what people might get out of her. This was the moment of truth in a very pathetic life. Now she was prepared to pass beyond the gate of death to the life beyond it.
When she died she was young and beautiful to behold, though in fact she was sixty years old.
Suffering and Forgiveness
There was a man who seemed to have many misfortunes borne on him. He was an unloved child who came of an intensely religious household, and much was expected of him. Indeed, his sights were aimed at so great a height by his unimaginative, decorous parents, that he had no chance of ever fulfilling their hopes. What little initiative he had was soon obliterated by the strife and turmoil of school, and being a person of modest intelligence, he could never assert himself. This basic physical impotence showed itself later in a failure to get the right work and to form a durable relationship with a woman. By middle age he was severely neurotic, and at last could see the terrible havoc his parents' attitude and upbringing had wrought on him. An overwhelming hatred for them consumed him, for he knew now that his life was ruined, and stark failure confronted him.
In his hatred he became aggressive and violent, so much so that at one point he fell foul of the law and was brought up before the magistrate, who cautioned and discharged him. This turning-point in his life. Timid at heart, he was shocked both at his violence and hatred and at the threat of imprisonment that had impinged itself so closely upon him.
It was fortunate for him that, at this stage of his life, he was brought into contact with a group of Christians who practised meditation together using Biblical themes. Their religion was open and undogmatic, and in their company this warped man could at last gain a little inner peace. He began to see that the resentment he felt against society for the worldly success, and all that followed from it, that had been denied him, was childish and immature and that real living was giving of oneself to others. He started, in the company of the other members of the group, to visit and assist the sick and the blind. At first this was a severe imposition on him, for he gained no material benefit from it. And yet his life had gradually started to gain some meaning. He was able to subsist on a meagre salary doing uninspiring work, but at last his self-esteem rose by degrees.
Slowly he realised that the noblest purpose of life is service to one's fellow men, service that can demand nothing in return, but bestows on him who gives it a greater knowledge of the love that comes from on high. His heart was now opened to that love, and he ceased to fear and loathe (the two are really one) his aged parents and began to feel compassion towards them, and indeed towards all people. As the years passed this man was able to make a happy marriage, and to venture forth into more fulfilling work. He was, admittedly, not very successful financially, but his life flowered into ever greater peace and forgiveness. He had found the pearl of great price within himself through being bereft of all those external conceits that the world esteems most highly. Suffering had opened his heart to the love of God Who forgave him and healed his personality. At last he could live with single-minded purpose, being himself and not merely losing himself in a superfluity of good things.
Suffering and Enlightenment
It is one thing to suffer because of a lack of personal enlightenment, but what about those seekers on the path who have to suffer the supreme deprivation of having their "faith" cut away from under their feet! My own life, so much that of an outsider (but also one with Jesus Who is the eternal outsider - outside all the limits and dimensions that the world has erected, and even those within which the Church that has arisen in His name has vainly tried to imprison Him), has brought me frequently into contact with those who believe they have lost their faith. At one time everything was cut and dried; they knew they had been "saved," that the Lord had a definite work for them to do each day, that it was their duty to show others also the way to salvation. Their life was a prolonged holiday with the Almighty; all they had to do was obey the basic commandments and all would go well with them! Yet somehow the vision had grown dim. The assurance that was once so strong had waned, and experiences in their life had taught them, as Job had also to be taught, that God was not so easily defined as they had imagined, and that the action of the Holy Spirit was more free than any person could divine. In this state of spiritual darkness, which is the contemporary counterpart of the dark night of the soul so well described by many medieval Christian mystics, there are two possible sequels: cynical despair that leads to self-destruction and suicide (at least on a psychical level) or self-discovery through a greater openness to the uncharted providence of God. It is the latter way that comes of the Holy Spirit, and it shows itself in the development of new insights and new faculties.
This is indeed one of the most rewarding features of the contemporary spiritual scene. Those who were limited by fixed, conventional religious views (often described pejoratively as orthodoxy, a word which should embrace the proper glorification of God as well as the right doctrine) are having their perspectives widened by the inflow of the ceaselessly active Holy Spirit, the lord and giver of life. The rather spectacular, and to my mind superficial, Charismatic Movement is certainly a liberating force in the current Christian scene, and could be the presage of a much deeper, more penetrating mystical transformation provided its adherents do not try to quench the Spirit by limiting the full force of His renewing grace. But the Spirit blows in other directions also. It may be necessary for some highly conservative Christians to make contact not only with the Hindu-Buddhist metaphysic and systems of meditation to broaden their own spiritual perspectives, but also to learn more about psychical and mystical levels of awareness.
On the other hand, those who tend strongly towards esoteric and occult systems of training - and in my opinion including even the Hindu-Buddhist group - will never attain full liberation until they take on themselves the yoke of suffering that comes from the incarnate Jesus Christ. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly in heart; and you shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).
From all this we can begin to derive a new concept of faith, which also is a gift of the Holy Spirit. It is the ability to be open to new possibilities, to know that the world is intrinsically good, having been made by God, Who saw that everything was very good when He made it (as the first chapter of the Book of Genesis declares), and which cannot be permanently corrupted by any action of the creature who governs the world, even man.
Suffering and Pride
Pride is the antithesis of faith. It is indeed the cardinal sin. All the other sins are subordinate to it. The proud man is full of himself; he cannot let go of himself, for if he did, his little domain would disintegrate. He cannot entertain faith for anything outside himself. The fruit of pride is clearly suffering, for the proud man cannot align himself to anybody else, let alone the cosmic flow of God.
But pride goes before the inevitable fall, and then God's grace can enter the shattered personality, - which is at last receptive to the healing agencies that derive from God - whether medical, psychological, or psychical. It is no over-simplification to say that all suffering accrues from personal pride. Admittedly even the humble person - and the humility I speak of is not a self-centred recital of sins and faults, but an open receptivity to the love of God - who is full of faith as I have defined it, does not escape harsh affliction in this world. The Lord did not tell Dame Julian of Norwich that she would have no more difficulties with which to contend, but He did assure her that she would never be overcome (Revelations of Divine Love Chapter 68). There is, however, a subtle difference between bearing an affliction and suffering personally. In the one there is the knowledge that God is with us, and we are "putting on the new man" as St. Paul would say (Ephesians 4:24; Colossians 3:10). In the sufferings of everyday life it is the "old man", the personal self and the psyche, that is wounded. And how he kicks against the pricks! When Jesus bore our afflictions He experienced the personal suffering, and the resentment that flowed from it, of the whole creation (and especially man). But He did not complain or revile His Father. St. Paul sees this bearing of the world's suffering as the work of the fully realised Christian; "I now rejoice in my suffering for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body's sake, which is the church" (Colossians 1:24).
It should be noted finally that pride is not the same thing as self-esteem. If we do not esteem ourselves, there is no hope for us at all. As I have written earlier, self-acceptance is a part of the spiritual journey, for when we can really know and love ourselves as we are, we will also begin to know and love our neighbour, who is every man we meet. Self-esteem is a conscious acknowledgment of the uniqueness of our own person - and therefore of the unique value of all other persons also. Pride is an enclosed, imprisoned view of the person that prevents the inflow of God's love, which alone can transform and renew the personality.
Suffering and Cosmic Disasters These is, of course, a type of suffering which follows what we call "natural disasters," such as floods, cyclones, earth-quakes, and volcanic eruptions. There are described as "acts of God" in insurance parlance. But are they really God's responsibility?
Here we are in the field of pure speculation of course, but it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that malign psychic forces that proceed from corrupt evil men and societies have their effect even on the weather and the structure of the earth. Just as destructive poltergeist activity can develop in the vicinity of a psychologically unbalanced person - usually an adolescent with strong psychic powers - is it not possible that such activity on a greatly magnified scale could have cosmic repercussions, especially if those who have passed beyond the veil of death into the life of the world to come, add their quota of psychic emanations to the general cosmic chaos?
As I have already admitted, this is merely a speculation, but it is worth considering very deeply. The converse effect would be produced by those who are balanced, integrated persons. Their calming, healing influence is well recognised on a personal level. If more people were to emulate their example, perhaps the earth itself would be a more harmonious planet, less susceptible to natural disasters.
I have already quoted St. Paul on the sufferings of the world following the selfishness of its creatures (Romans 8:18-25). But he also describes a vision of the world liberated from the shackles of mortality to enter into the glorious liberty of the children of God (verse 21).