How good it is for me to have been punished, to school me in thy statutes!
Psalm 119.71
We do indeed learn by experience. In our callow youth (of inexperience rather than mere years) we tend to live on a surface level punctuated by the routine of daily duties. This is especially so when all goes well with us. We take our good fortune for granted as we proceed heedlessly along, moved essentially by our own selfishness.
You may listen and listen, but you will not understand.
You may look and look again, but you will never know.
This people's wits are dulled,
their ears are deafened and their eyes blinded,
so that they cannot see with their eyes
nor listen with their ears
nor understand with their wits,
so that they may turn and be healed.
Isa. 6.9-10, quoted in Matt. 13.14-15, John 12.40 and Acts 28.26-7
This impervious attitude is not willed by God, as a superficial reading of these texts might lead one to think, but is a part of the consciousness of the human in a state of spiritual ignorance, and has been anticipated by God. Until there is a greater awakening, the faculties of sensation and the working of the mind will be limited to purely surface interests.
In due course the heedless gallop draws up to a sudden halt. The cause of this arrest may be a bodily injury that followed a thoughtless action when the mind was not attending to the present moment. It may, on the other hand, be a disease coming after persistent abuse of the body by smoking, alcohol or drugs. It may instead be an equally precipitate break in a personal relationship that we had taken for granted, but were completely unaware of a friend's or business partner's growing restiveness. Alternatively there may be a breakdown of marriage. The infidelity of our partner may assail us as a bitter blow, so that we vent our spleen by citing with wrath the seventh of the Ten Commandments. But when the emotional discharge has had its place, we are forced to be quiet and turn our gaze inwards. (The matter has also been discussed in "Suffering, the Great Teacher")
So did the cruel, lustful David after his seduction of Bathsheba and the cunning murder of her noble husband Uriah; Nathan confronted him to his face with his wickedness by means of a parable, and said, "You are the man" (2 Sam. 12.7). Likewise did Elijah the perfidious Ahab after he had had Naboth murdered in order to acquire his vineyard. David, a man of considerable moral stature, repented and prevailed, but only after terrible internecine strife within his own family. The far less worthy Ahab was soon to be killed in battle. Peter was confronted starkly with his cowardice when on three successive occasions he denied all knowledge of his Master. But the terrible affliction that followed this self-knowledge was healed by the forgiveness of the resurrected Christ.
Until we have come into relationship with the Law of God, we have not come of age spiritually. Many of us need a conflict with that Law before the sinfulness lying within us can be exposed, confronted, and then given to God in humility and faith as our little sacrifice.
Nothing in our life is simply eradicated, though we may pathetically believe it to have been. It will recur in due course until it is given to God. Then alone can it be cared for and healed by the divine compassion. And so it comes about that God's statutes are given to us so that we may attain that perfect life shown to us by Jesus himself, who did not come to abolish the Law and the prophets, but to complete them (Matt. 5.17). Through him we now know that the fulfilment of all the statutes of the Law is love (Rom. 13.10). When one has known affliction personally, one can comprehend another's weakness and suffering, and be open to that person in compassion. Through the open, tenderly palpitating heart God's love can flow.
I thank you, Lord, for giving me the capacity to learn from the mistakes of the past, so that I may be more aware of the law of love in the future. May I practise that love in guiding those who follow me through the darkness of their errors to the light of greater understanding that lies beyond.
Meditation 39