In this wonderful chapter Mother Julian is shown that we are made clean by contrition, ready by compassion, and worthy by our true longing for God. These are the three means whereby all souls come to heaven; they are the three medicines by which it is incumbent on every soul to be healed. But once healing has been attained, the previous disfigurements to the personality that the sins inflicted, are not so much removed as preserved in a position of honour. The restored beauty of the person, created in the divine image and likeness, is embellished by the radiant scars of the healed wounds.

In this respect we can remember Jesus' resurrection body. On one occasion at least, the risen Lord revealed his hands and side to the disciples as they were met together behind locked doors for fear of persecution. He gave them his peace and the impress of the Holy Spirit. On this occasion one of the Twelve, Thomas, was absent, and he refused to believe the others unless he too saw the risen Christ with the signs of his crucifixion. A week later this request was granted, and Thomas's allegiance was absolute (John 20.19-29). "Doubting Thomas" was reproved by his Lord, and has been criticized by many others since, but in fact his insistence on absolute proof was well grounded. It was the healed signs of Jesus' humiliating death, signs of disgrace rather than glory to those outside the circle of the disciples, that rendered his appearance authentic. An arresting, radiant figure claiming to be Christ might quite easily have been a demonic impersonation; but the stigma attached to his terrible death could not so easily be reproduced, because it was illuminated by sacrifice and love. Later on, the stigmata, the marks corresponding to those left by the nails and spear at the crucifixion, have been recognized as signs of great honour when they have been impressed on the bodies of occasional saints, of whom St Francis of Assisi is the most famous.

We too grow by our sins when they are fully acknowledged and given to God without excuse or justification. When we come closer to Christ, we may feel such distaste for our past actions and way of life that we speak of them only with disgust. Yet it was probably through their very disruptive effect in our lives that we came to our true being and sought the One who alone could heal us. It is always unwise to kick away the ladder on whose rungs we ascended to our present position of spiritual assurance. Each rung in its turn provided us with a small understanding of the love of God, who upheld us even when we fell into utter degradation. When we are safely in God's hands, our past misdemeanours become our means of contact with those who follow on. In this way a healed alcoholic subject can be of assistance to someone in the thraldom of this disease, in a way quite impossible for a well-wisher who has never been in contact with the condition.

In Chapter 27 of her Revelations of Divine Love, Mother Julian tells how she was made aware that it behoved (was necessary) that there should be sin, but that all shall be well in the end. There is a great mystery here, but one thing is clear: the sinner who repents knows the love of God, whereas the hard type of virtuous, pious person is very liable to be uncharitable to his or her less exemplary neighbour. A number of Jesus' parables and experiences in common life expound this theme, notably Luke 7.36-50, Luke 15.11-32 and Luke 18.9-14. It seems strange that we have to fall from the high ideal set within the soul before we can know God intimately; but perhaps this is the essential purpose of our perplexing life on earth. It is inevitably of limited span, but its events make their mark upon us as we prepare for the life ahead, both here and in the larger world of our dreams and of death.

I thank you, Lord, for the gift of free choice in the manner of directing my life, that I am upheld even when I have behaved foolishly, and that each experience draws me closer to your unfailing love, and therefore to my fellow creatures.